Let go of career anxiety, Hello- adult learning
- Aoyumi Jung
- Jan 19
- 3 min read
I publish this blog as a way to express my gratitude for LXD for shaping to be a tougher person
December 2023
6pm, first month officially with Learning Experience Design (LXD)
I am getting more welcoming energy for my full-time job. I find the workspace safe and comfortable, despite being alone. I’ve seen more organization of the team over the past 6 months since my internship. I feel like being a part of contributing to the betterment of this intentional team.
I’ve sensed the drive to produce something nicely by being here. I’ve printed useful documents, created the well-being corner, reviewed the master plan, sought ideas from Asana’ users, and thought of what to do in the following days. I am more motivated to see the chance to learn from the job itself, and learn from other team members wherever we are. We love to ask silly and deep questions during our walk to lunch, break time and after work. We like to share ideas and random findings from somewhere, then create inspiration for me for the rest of the day.
I might bring some unread books to our shared library soon. As I see the uniqueness of every individual of my Learning Experience Design Team amidst the interesting alignment of work, I am falling for the mission we are striving for, as well as, for the team culture and shared meanings we’ve established. There are non-written values I could perceive, with my instinct such as care, creativity, responsibility, ownership, respect, learning spirit and open-mindedness.
I have come here letting go of my expectations about career path, fixated interest in young learners, future uncertainties, payment expectations, anticipated working challenges. I will let go of more stupid expectations, so I will go to bed early peacefully, fill my working days with joy, and excite my biking journeys to work and back home with gratitude. I want to have memorable days living in this vibrant city, Bangkok where I could absorb the passion of people to grow, like my old days in Singapore. Or, just let go of my past, wherever I have been to. I will live in every second I have, to sip in the wonder that comes at its serendipitous moments. Then if thinking about Bangkok one day, I will smile in retrospect.
I will keep my head down, humbly ask questions, seek understanding, telling me the purpose of living constantly. In any case of anger or negative vibe, I will give myself space to process and regain my calm mind’s state. Remember I am here with people who value me, and welcome myself as a developer of educational values. I am proud of my role and my team.
If I were to publish a book, I may want to collect all of my diary pieces since grade 6 (14 years now), and tie them together into something like “Perks of a Wallflower.” My book title might be something like “wondrous journey of a silly tiger.” HAHA.
That tiger is me, a stubborn one has learnt to be independent and so appreciative of life. The tiger was born with lots of love, but felt lacking in love at some point and formed tons of self-pressure on her. She also experienced unkind social interaction and personal relationship conflicts. Many times, she didn’t know who to come to but dialoguing with herself.
The tiger went rebellious from a young age but still held big dreams to explore the larger world. The tiger found herself as soon as she owned her freedom to learn and make decisions.
She never stops attending to new adventures. She wishes for time to pause at times since she doesn’t like saying goodbye to people. She never gets used to departing, although she has to accept that is the nature of her life choice. Diving in new journeys means meeting new people and saying goodbye to some others.
The tiger has recently learned to find herself satisfied with all life has given to her, and trust that she is incomplete, she is imperfect and that is the beauty of life. She will remind herself of letting go of expectations more regularly, and to be open about anything arising.
All earlier philosophies she discovered have enormously shaped her identity such as self-belief, belief in humanity, belief in life-long learning as trees, growing into a resilient and spiritual being like trees, and essentially listening to her heart.
Now, it is time for her to find the balance of expectations and the impermanence of life. Trust that she is strong, she can feel the universe’s energy and has herself empty once in a while to begin again. Trust that such imperfection gives her inner strength to keep up the learning soul, to dream more, love more, and do more serving acts to Mother Nature.
6:45pm done with rereading and revising
Comments