You can't make me down, scary dreams

I always have this dream that someone comes attack me and I have to escape them by trying to get out of my house, running into my neighborhood. The attackers are not exceptional from my beloved people, let alone strangers. I can’t make sense of this weird scenario in my head. This happens to me over the course of my childhood and adulthood which I don’t understand why. It occurred to me again, today All of a sudden in the very early morning, I was provoked to wake up this train of dreaming thought. I even asked myself at the peak of the nightmare: “where am I, what am I doing here.” 

I called my mom immediately, not the first time, of course just to calm down the messy mind and actually to check if my mom is alright on the other side of the globe. Close but seems far. A random dream took place while I am wondering about its triggering causes. It has to be rooted from something, some psychological matter, or my own intuition of incidences. I have no idea of what is coming up. I just hope everything is and will be fine. I do hope that my dream is the contrast of the reality. I am loved by others, loved by my family members, and I never have to run away. 

I went to the pagoda after the call with my mom. Yesterday, 2 weeks ago, and next week, 3 events in a row are the days 3 beloved people in my life passed away. My grandparents, who shaped me in different ways, are somewhere around this life. They may still protect our soul, drive the spiritual world to become safe space for me, for us. They may still observe my growing journey and constantly search for our movements. Or they may be very distant. Wherever or however it could be, I want to pray for their peaceful presence and spirits. I pray that you all are relaxed and tranquil in your end, I am doing well and I miss you all. Besides, I also pray for lots of other things. I am greedy when I go to pagoda sometimes. I pray to have happiness with a new friend I recently met, it has been rare constant happiness after a long while. Should I deserve this little happiness? I pray for my close friends around Thailand to be safe. I pray for my family, sister, brothers, uncles and aunts, cousins to be healthy and safe. I pray for my best friends in Vietnam to be healthy, safe and happy with everything they do. I pray for all of my beloved one to connect to themselves and connect to me, as always. My heart is for them, though I am landed in here. Dreams, reality, where is the truth? It lies in my mentality, probably. I wake up and start my normal, simple, different, fresh day. To this moment, the anxiety has declined more than a bit. I am glad, and grateful for this intention of expression. I am glad to be able to reflect on a scary dream, console myself and think positively. I am glad that I am at ease right now. Thank you and love you Mom. Please be safe and I will come back to see you soon. Don’t leave me any time yet. <3 

#prayforlovesafetyhappinessconnectionhealth
#loveyoumom