Practice makes perfect

27 of September, 2019

My brain has been emotionally disturbed for 3 days. The thinking process sometimes drew me to linger on the imperfections I made, and I have. I know it takes more time to practice.

When I finished my presentation on “Kpop influenced Thai culture” last Wednesday, I felt dissatisfied, though I did put an effort into the preparation. I was also happy for the little accomplishment, going home and I wanted to email to thank my teacher for her being there listening to us. Many memories related to public speaking in front of the crowd throwback to me as it was such a long time since I last stood at a big lecture hall. Perhaps this is a small assignment for my friends, to me, this used to be a great fear. There was some fainted dream on those days that this fear would go away soon.

The inclusive assessment criteria

Why I can’t get my head away from it? I am honestly taking my studying serious. It is no longer the fear of the knowledge digestion or the escapism that I lived during 2 years in Hanoi. Throughout the entire first year of 9 months, I did not have a single time of presenting in front of the classes. Why? It is because most classes had around 150 students each, assignments were not even properly informed to students in a way that I was not aware of I should do the intensive reading before going to class. In fact, pre-reading is a must-have practice during university and in real life. What’s more, there is always too much limit on choice and creativity, only 1-2 students are allowed to deliver the groupwork result, and there are tones of assessing criteria that should have been emphasized. At Thammasat, beyond the timing, the presenting skill, it’s also the evaluation of the comprehension of all members, the depth of content, the visual design, the group perspectives on the topic, the group dynamics through the collaboration experience, and peer assessment. Our studying performance is evaluated by grades, grades are numbers, and numbers should be divided into smaller parts to see how a performance is created by many factors. Otherwise, once the performance is done, the students answer some questions from their friends, that’s it, what is then considered as “the presenting ability” sounds insufficient.

An utmost moment to overcome the fear

The utmost moment killing the fear inside me for public speaking was in team consultancy moment between Mylight and Irsyad – our impact partner. Flora’s concern was that our project’s objective is towards an issue in Vietnam thus it should be told from a Vietnamese perspective. She proposed me to be the pitcher for our arduous project over 5 months, this pitching idea never crossed my mind since I deeply know that my teammates are much more competent and capable than me. The 5 months started with excitement and fear as well! I was fearful to join the meeting. Irsyad asked me “Can I do it?” I said: “Yes”.

Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the making of action in spite of fear, the moving out against the resistance engendered by fear into the unknown and into the future. (M.Scott Peck)

I could do it as a result, and of course, it was not perfect at all. However, it was forever such a beautiful courageous moment in my life to be on a stage standing in front of brilliant international investors, entrepreneurs to tell my own stories, and proudly share our project’s idea.

Resilience over an arduous self-learning journey

The wonder goes back to a period of time when I was looking for opportunities around Hanoi to practice my English speaking skills. I had limitless energy from my adorable bike that accompanied me from the north to the west of the capital, during the rainy or the hot days. Whatever crisis I encountered, the bike was there with me. I skipped all English lectures in my faculty, the 2 only lectures I attended led me to dive in the book “The frantic childhood” (Tuoi tho du doi) on my phone. The reason is that it was not worth spending time on those tedious lessons which cost my family a bunch of money. And I couldn’t stand wasting my time and money like that…

The first English experience learning began from the Communication course at Step Up Center in which I met the most lovely teacher inspiring me to learn British accent and fall in love with New Zealand, and a lovely class with happy hangout days. I cycled at least once a week to Hoan Kiem Lake to meet foreigners, the moment I conquered the first scary moment, I gained confidence and motivation to talk more, and cycle around more. The first project exposing me to the most foreign things in 18 years of life was called “Global Passport” by AIESEC Hanoi. This lasted 3 months in total and made the first winter in Hanoi warm with laughter and excitement. Then my friend introduced me to a weekly free class at a Church where the faith believers generously organized cozy lessons for any English learners in Hanoi. I happened to know American Center that has diverse cool public activities like a debate club, environment talk, an English club, From strangers to familiar, the US studying alumni talkshow… where my English was polished little by little, my voice was heard, and I met many inspiring people. I seek opportunities at Toastmaster and Knowmads as well where I gathered tips on Public Speaking and networking with some interesting adult community. The first year finished with the strong desire to try a crazy experience which is to participate in “Sawadee Project” in Thailand, my English was good enough for confidently expressing myself in communication after 1 year swimming all over places.

People asked me how do I learn English by myself. Myself is the deepest source to take the autonomy to go out there. My English is built a variety of engagement thus I can’t say I built it alone. But what I am proud is the more I forced myself to try more, the more inspiration I get back. It is all worthwhile. And things happen for some reason.

The only way to learn to write is to force yourself to produce a certain number of words on a regular basis. (On Writing Well, William Zinsser)

Freshy Game Practice

Another vivid example to prove the cliché “Practice makes perfect” is my GSSE cohort 6 classmates’ practice for the Feshy Game day. This is a fresh experience for me as an observer. Many times, I questioned my friends what made them work so hard for this event. Surprisingly, they had different reasons ranging from physical-testing, collaboration spirit, dancing hobby, to simply the feeling for pride and unity. Cheerleading is part of Thai culture. Students perform as in the spirit of cheering for the school, for the country. Everyday over 3 months, my friends had to practice from 5 pm until mid-night to the extent that some couldn't be present in class the next mornings. It sounds and it is physically & mentally exhausting. The moment I saw their performance in the stadium in the middle of cheers and light, I thought they must be very proud of themselves as finally the day came. It’s a remarkable point during school life.

I love this week so far. The sense of humanity is always around. No limit for public speaking topics allows us to talk about the stories we are interested in. On Monday, I was offered many opportunities to discover New York City, cooking, romantic Hue, water crisis, architecture in Thailand, Psychology, high school life in India,…This is the same with Academic Writing course that I am investigating in how authoritative parenting methods benefit the emotional and behavioral development of children. Humanity is conveyed in every detail of School of Global Studies. Ajarns kindly reply to all emails and students’ concern despite being hectic with work and family, Ajarns will hand back our exam papers for us to review after grading, smiley Ajarns have joyful conversations with us during recess time. Whereas previously, I never had any idea of what went wrong with my paper ending up with unexplained grades, this could be unethical if I keep comparing these two systems, yet it should be highlighted to see the difference, and the sense of humanity.

Thammasat University, where we learn to love the people.

Love the people and love ourselves. It’s great to be proud of what I did and my ability. It’s also good to recognize the shortcomings of myself, and be humble to ask for feedback from others. There is nothing wrong to be disappointed of our own mistakes because mistakes give lessons after all. There could be boundary for moral discipline but there is no boundary for the ultimate performance.

#Restrospect

#Acceptance

#Resilience