Meditate and Theory U

A sunny Saturday meditating and practicing Theory U at Botanic Garden.

Check-in: what makes you smile today?

The guy who has been through a family conflict said that no matter how bad the situation is, I could still smile to himself.

The first smile of myself is the moment I looked out of the Grab window into the fresh green trees surrounding the nation. The last two days were packed inside a hectic working building, it's high time to walk out of that artificial atmosphere, feel the sense of nature and get deep breath. I wish someday Vietnam could also put on this lively coat, a symbol of a green lifestyle.

The check-in kicks off all topics to be discussed: relationships, education, belief system, money,... I will go into some innocent questions asked by a 5-year-old boy.

1. Is there the possibility of loving someone that we don't like?

The guy said though the relatives involving in the family war can give such hurtful words to his mom, he can still forgive them as he knows they are grieving. It is better to let this trauma come out rather than pretend to be fine and hide the sadness inside. Whatever is happening in terms of suppression or emotional crisis are the things we all have to go through eventually. We all have to face the death of our loved ones, face the family conflicts or the breaking-up relationships at some points. Otherwise, we cannot grow up…

Lesson: hatred and love

2. "Will you die?"

Yes. But I hope there is a long way ahead up to the day I die. The women was honest to her son as an educator shape an honest mind. Never look down on the young age of a kid and tell lies to them. Many Vietnamese parents, including mine, responded to our innocent questions with so-called “reasonable” facts but they are purely unacceptable answers being able to kill our curiosity and lead the fault seeds in our head since childhood. How are they going to handle their saying to the children when they grow up and realize the truth? How can important topics to our life such as sex, birth, or emotions be avoided talking in families? Sounds frustrating!

3. "What happen to these toys when we die?"

As a family with the interest of shopping, it was her first time to be ask that question, the question triggering thoughts of the “need”. Accordingly, is there a need to buy so much just to satisfy our spontaneous want? It’s challenging but essential to learn how to delay our gratification to live a minimal life and spend quality time on important relationships.

4. "Why Mom work so hard but do not spend money much?"

It’s not that we are very poor, but I don’t think it’s worth and wise spending money.

She taught her son how to distinguish Price and Value. Price is a matter of materials and the ability to afford, in a sense, it does not convey emotions of human. Meanwhile, Value sometimes is not transparent behind the Price. For instance, a free hug costs nothing but embodies such beautiful meaning and great values. It is our belief system that making money is to spend on buying is ingrained in the brain of kids. How can a child know that adults have to bear so many burden in order to value money not earned by them?

Above all, the curiosity of innocent kids has the power to pause us to think of some questions that we have never thought of. Whoever we are talking to deserves our respect, suspend, listen and voice.

At the end of the day, keep in mind 4 words: Suspend, Respect, Listen and Voice. That's the basic concept of Theory U.

To be continued...

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