I am young and wild.

11 pm. 1.1.2019

Happy New Year to me!

Will and Sean

First movie of the year made in 1997 called Good Willing Hunting.

“That’s not your fault” “That’s not your fault” “That’s not your fault”

.....

Around ten times

What’s kind of power and meaning behind this saying that makes Will cry-to-heart ? I could not hold back my tears, either. The two hugged each other tightly like a father and a son. The son has just got back his honesty to his self for the first time he thought about what he wants to do, rather than being a construction worker or a shepherd.

Will said “I know” but he actually does not know. Will went through a stormy childhood with a violent mom, with suffering from harassment, pain and loneliness till the age of 20. At his 21st ‘s birthday, he received a special gift from his closet friends- a second hand & handmade car by which he could move to his work place and wherever he likes as he turns 21 already. I was touched by this friendship.

The reason Sean, an ingenious psychologist, became such a talented man was due to his painful past and overcoming. Sean is the fifth psychologist who continues arranging more conversations with Will after their first argument. Because they both used to observe and experience a similar tough time_”that’s not your fault” was born along with their deep talk. From my interpretation, Sean wants to awake Will to look at the present and pursue what he wants in stead of living from harsh happened time. Will seems to be still thinking he has no real purpose and responsible for his life. He backed up his idea by saying building house is honorable. Yes, all jobs are honorable but sneaking in a prestigious university to solve brilliant math work that almost nobody could do and runs away is not honorable at all.

“Why do you want to work for a top uni but any other one else?”

In the end, he realizes his first priority now is to see the girl whose love he took the initiative to refuse in pain and regret. That’s what he wants. That’s how he feels his heart. He finally gets out of his fear and his past to live as a true self, as his name- Will Hunting. ___ I am also turning 20, if not saying 21 as generally.

I am hunting my will and my want, too.

I am scared and nervous but not either gonna escape from the present or live still in the past.

I am moving on as a strong girl with strong determination. I accept my weakness and lack of experience. I am not gonna hide my weak points and show my willingness to learnt. I have my unique intelligence and potential to live a happy and fulfilled life. I am young and wild.