Good days will come

13 Dec 2021

Wander in Bangkok. My heart was hopeful of rescuing my macbook as a last chance. I am ready to confront this incident, one of the most painful incidents in my life. It is the damage of an object that I worked my brain out to buy this year. I called it Haru, as a boy because I was so single and lonely HAHA. And I put my soul into it with lots of meaningful words and work. It has been with me for only 7 months. It has travelled with me to several provinces, with me in some exams and projects. It has colored its memories with various screenshots of students, educators and me. How strange it happened. My heart was broken on the phone call with my bestie. I froze for 15 minutes. Probably because I was treasuring it as my kid, my soulmate, I cried out loud "how can people with inner peace confront the problems with not too extreme emotions like happiness or anger or pain? Maybe I haven't got enough inner peace to cope with this event all of a sudden..." Nath told me "be strong, we cannot reverse time."

I tried to take some breaths, drink water, and finally could speak encouraging words for myself. "This is not intentional. This is just an unhappy moment. I still have to move on with my life. Nothing more important than now is to eat. Eat to think of what to do next." Then I realized I was so hungry. The pain drove my mind crazy that I forgot my physical needs. During the rest of the day, my heart was heavy, but I didn't shed any more tears. For now, my heart is lighter. I confronted the truth with less disappointment. The decision is to continue using this wet screen with the hope of its dryness someday. If anyone sells their screen, I might consider getting a second-hand screen. I am lucky enough that my keyboard is safe.

I decided to wander around Sukhumvit street on the way back. When I was approaching the technical store, all my mind was for it, I barely looked at the surroundings. And so I was in a bit of awe zooming closely in such an interesting area.

Many foreigners and international styles of architecture that I don't see in Rangsit. I felt like becoming a tourist. Walking through Japanese restaurants, Thai massage shops, bars, wine places etc. The cost of everything is at a high standard. I observed the wall, color, sign of locations, and took some photos. The blue sky coated my eyes.

I found this small alley that had no coffee shop or restaurant. It was covered in green walls of trees. It was curious to walk in, it led me to a peaceful and airy residential area. I took an interest in staying in this kind of neighborhood in the middle of the city. Today Bangkok was airy and yellow.

I came back to Victory Monument, calling my partner in crime again. It could have been more fun if she went with me. I saw a store selling cheap clothes which had big price tags for every item. The scene brought my mind back to the Emquartier Mall when I stopped by for toilet from Phrom Pong BTS station. The space is another level of high-class service of clothes, workplace, food and environment. Even when I was in a rush, I could not get away from looking at the fancy working space filled with glasses, green trees and coffee scents. These two spaces are juxtaposed.

I thought of Critical Design, a concept I learnt in our Human Centered Design class where our professor taught us to be critical about every single design object. Critical Design is an idea behind artefacts that questions norms and dominant values embedded in our everyday life. Critical Design was inspired by Critical Theory developed by Frankfurt School. For example, the clothes shop above might refer to the inequality of economic conditions in society. Critical design does not criticize the quality of the clothes but the idea behind the product. The shop is definitely not under attraction for high-income people from the location, shop appearance to price. Just being in Bangkok, I can see lots of examples of social gaps. Sukumvit also sheltered many homeless individuals and bypassers didn't respond to their presence on the street at all. This reality might go on without an ending point because the problem is wicked. Halfway through year 3 at GSSE, I am still confused about social innovation but I love researching and exploring it. Thank you, Thailand. Pray for the best for my macbook. Be with me long, & long.

#overthepain

#findmyinnerpeace

#observation