Communication learning in informal contexts
- Aoyumi Jung
- May 30, 2020
- 4 min read
May 30, 2020
How to deal with humans in daily life?
Limitation to formal studying and working set me into an informal context of learning. It is a context of communication with people from all walks of life: my parents, my sibling, my roommate, my best friends, my seniors, my professors, recruiters, my teammate, my mentor, my cousins, my old teacher, highschool student and distant friends. Communication itself comes in various ways. It is unpredictable and requires flexibility to handle. Thankfully, I am almost recovered after the emotional mess and unemployment.
Growth and fixed mindset.
My brother keeps asking me when I could go back. My dad keeps asking me repetitive questions regarding nitty-gritty stuff of daily life. Despite them being important to me, I couldn’t act as if I am alright as responding to such concerns. They don’t seem to step into my shoes to get my feelings. It is too obvious that my home-travel totally depends on the government’s decision. They bear a protective mindset but not a sympathetic mindset. They think they are true all the time. Mom is getting better at this but not the other 2 men in the family. I am scared of having a husband. The fear basically comes from how people around me treat me. My voice is hardly taken into consideration while they believe in their fixed thinking. The women committed to them like their wives must account for their stubbornness. Listening is non-sense if their pushes go over the limit.
Daily growth with a life advisor.
My happiness is to hug my roomate everyday, read books lying on her, ask her to put masks on my face, do massaging, cooking and play badminton together. Interacting physically with humans give me comfort to be focused and warm. We tease each other and show sincerity at right moments. She gives me safety and lectures in human psychology. Sometimes I have good questions for her regarding her relationships as well. We share mutual understanding of trust in love, hardships in family and career directions. She teaches me English uses, always asks if I am alright. She notices changes in mood by her instinct. She is my reliable consultant in how to make decisions and give advice for others’, and for my own.
Who is important to me?
I survived over 3 days of rigorous emotions related to my best friend’s wedding. I realized she is still special to me. If not so, I would not have cried that hard. Everything I saw reminded me of the moments I had with her in the past. I came mentally to the first time we became close to each other. We started to open our heart on normal basis. She is an introvert, I am indeed, too. She has been pregnant for 5 months which I didn’t know. I didn’t have any chance to ask about her health, changes in her physical and emotional status. It must be enormous. I tried to catch up with her new married life. It is hard. I cried badly on my roommate's shoulder that day. I thought I was alone after all. Yet I still have some good friends around, still my best friends’group in Vietnam, and 2 beautiful ladies here. I spent all day alone, eating with my seniors healing my mood. I came back to the fineness eventually. Time heals pains.
How to understand my sister better?
She is at the most stressful time in student life – preparation for entrance exam into uni. I am not quite sure about who she is close to and what area she is good at. I used to be harsh on her when I was younger. When we are physically further, I realize I should have understood her better as a sister. I even rejected to teach her English back then. I told her to self-study like what I did. I could have helped her. She is among few who read my blogs. The joy of a blogger is to have their audience. Though for me it is to write for myself, but sometimes others’ reading means care and motivates me to stay active. By all means, my job is to be a safe place for her to share her confusion in decision-making, decently orient where to target, not impose her. This period of time causes the youths to be vulnerable but also quiet to seek help from their beloved one if they get too much pressure.
A sense of belonging
We had several gatherings like a family full of siblings. We sang Vietnamese songs and songs about out nation, and popular songs in a decade ago. My seniors cook like professional chefs. They treat me like a sister. Each senior has a different personality. One is theoretical and knowledgeable of culture, politics, history and engineering. One is humble and peaceful. One is talkative about his experience and his dreams. One asks interesting questions and behaves politely. One knows how to make use of the connections and open of his intention. Guess which one I like? We talked about our college life earlier with days of wandering around Hanoi and HCM city, partying with friends, networking with people, breaking rules in dorms and lost in career choice. We all have long stories of how we are here. It is good that we can offer help and get help in need in a foreign country. It makes a home to everyone part of.
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